The following survey will help us determine where you would best serve the MIB.
Complete this form using a number two pencil.

Choose the best answer for the following questions.
  1. If spacecraft A is traveling due west at 30 times the speed of light, and spacecraft B is traveling due east at 40 times the speed of light, at what point will the two spacecrafts collide?
    1. when the moon is in the seventh house.
    2. when Jupiter aligns with Mars.
    3. when peace will guide the planet, and love will rule the stars.
    4. never, because spacecraft A's flight was canceled.

  2. I am _________ with zero gravity.
    1. very comfortable
    2. somewhat comfortable
    3. not at all comfortable

  3. I ___________travel(ing) at speeds in excess of 5 million miles an hour.
    1. enjoy
    2. don't mind
    3. would rather be stuck in traffic for 6 hours than

  4. Which of the following adverse condidtions sounds least appealing?
    1. being trapped on a planet where the surface temperatures exceed 300 degrees.
    2. being sucked into the belly of a flatulent space alien.
    3. being seduced by a many-tentacled alien of indeterminate gender.

  5. Do you have a history of any of the following (circle where applicable):
    1. schizophrenia
    2. pyromania
    3. paganophobia
    4. kleptomania
    5. necrophilia
    6. xenophobia

  6. Do you see a glass as
    1. half empty
    2. half full
    3. a WINDOW into another dimension

  7. If approached by a two-toed sloopery snitch, you would
    1. invite him in for coffee.
    2. blow his brains to Kingdom Come.
    3. ask him what happened to his other eight toes.

  8. Which of the following factors prompted you to join the MIB?
    1. The chance to fight for truth, justice, and the American way.
    2. A moral obligation to safeguard the citizens of Earth.
    3. The generous 401K plan.
    4. Alternate option was death by firing squad.


Are you MIB material?



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